Judging someone is as easy as breathing. We judge people basis their appearance, clothing, dialect, background, city, color, way of talking, sexuality and many other reasons. We judge the situations and usually figure that we are right & someone else is wrong. How many times do we try to get to the root of the situation to understand what caused it? I would say very few times. Why? Because we are usually blind to our own mistakes & analysis.
Let me share a story with you. A teacher was teaching in a school & she asked a student, Vivan, “If I give you 2 mangoes & 2 mangoes, how many do you have?” Vivan said, “5.” The teacher repeated, “Listen again, Vivan. If I give you 2 mangoes & 2 mangoes, how many do you have?” He again said, “5.” The teacher was a little irritated but she thought to change the question & asked again, “If I give you 2 oranges & 2 oranges, how many do you have?” He said, “4”. The teacher was happy that at least his maths is not at fault. She tried again, ” If I give you 2 mangoes & 2 mangoes, how many do you have?” The little kid again said, “5.” The teacher scolded him about this but Vivan said, “Mam, I already have one mango in my bag, so if you give me 4 more, I will have 5 in total.”
Who was at fault, teacher or Vivan? I would say no one. Both were right at their end. Similarly, when we are in dispute, both parties are right at their end. One party is technically right and one is practically right.
When the teacher said that 2+2 = 4, she was technically right. When Vivan said, 2+2 (+1) = 5, he was practically right. These are 2 faces of a coin. One party is always technical & one is practical. And usually, people try to be at the technical end of the problem. My friend scolded me last night, and he was very rude. This is a technical lookout of the problem. Why he shouted on me because I ended up drinking too much and puked, this is the practical lookout. He was worried about my health & I didn’t have to drink this much. I should have controlled myself. I was judging the situation wrong at that point in time.
Whenever you are in such a situation, try to analyze the practical part of it also before reacting to it. Our reaction time is inversely proportional to our judgment of the situation. The quicker are we to react, the less we will be able to understand the situation.
क्रोधाद्भवति सम्मोह: सम्मोहात्स्मृतिविभ्रम: |
स्मृतिभ्रंशाद् बुद्धिनाशो बुद्धिनाशात्प्रणश्यति || 63||
krodhād bhavati sammohaḥ sammohāt smṛiti-vibhramaḥ
smṛiti-bhranśhād buddhi-nāśho buddhi-nāśhāt praṇaśhyati
Anger leads to clouding of judgment, which results in bewilderment of the memory. When the memory is bewildered, the intellect gets destroyed; and when the intellect is destroyed, one is ruined.
Let’s stop judging each other and try to see the other end of the situation as well.